Beauty full

     I mistook likes, and follows on social media as the rate of our beauty. I got envious when I saw how someone got up to a thousand likes, I thought ‘ you will never get there, not even up to 200 likes, you don’t have a pointed nose, and you can’t take pictures without make up as you have to dark spots to conceal, you are not curvy enough ( popularly known as figure 8), you are not as popular as your peers,  and majorly because all these characteristics which you lack, are prerequisites to be termed as.          *Beautiful *.  

     A quick one here,i began to experience pimples outbreak on my face since my junior secondary school days, I felt picking and popping them were the only option  to get them over with, Well, too bad for me, they eventually turned to spots which were very embarrassing. I had no freaking idea on what to do, I couldn’t go out with my head held up high. When I see people discussing, I would  think they were. conversing on how ugly I looked.

     I believed them, I believed me for almost seven years.  Yes!  7 whole long years of being miserable and doubting If truly I was beautiful as I was always told when growing up. 

Those seven years turned out to be the longest. I always woke up, grateful to God for the life, but the joy of waking up suddenly changes to that of unhappiness when i remember that I have to go out, perhaps to school, church, and I kept away from attending social events, for reason of my being Ugly.  

     That was my mindset,my beliefs . Now if any mindset,makes you believe you are different in a negative type of way, or makes you feel you don’t meet Society’s standard of “Beautiful “,then it’s evil.                    That thought and mindset changed in  many ways than one, socially, mentally, spiritually as well.  I no longer believed what the Bible said about ” created in his image, form and likeness” . concentrating in school seemed a herculean task for my brain.  Thank God I graduated,  I moved from a lower level to a higher one,”  you would think my thinking graduated as well, but you are wrong if you thought so” . 

     Senior school didn’t get any different from the fact that I was in a different class, a whole new level. A formation stage, to prepare me for life ahead, my thinking remained the same. I learned about concealers and foundations, during this time and believe me when I say I was glad for the discovery, I felt that was light I needed to see at the end of the tunnel.  Then you would have imagined, I was happy fulfilling my dreams as a library prefect, but there was more I could do, I could feel it,  but it kept on saying to me” your face won’t allow you,  you don’t have it, so it’s best you stay in your lane”. I sought consolations in foundation bottles and concealer palette, but was still not happy.   Could I survive it? My friends turned dermatologist all for my sake and recommended what they felt will help me.  

    The turning point for me was when I got admitted to a university far from home,  I knew I had to face a new set of demons.  I had to make new friends all over.  Who wants to be friends with a girl with acne, blackheads,pimples anyway?     I continued wearing makeup to school, to conceal and cover my blemishes.  I eventually got TIRED. TIRED of wearing a white shirt to school and coming back with it looking brown from foundations, TIRED of going to school with my face dolled up and coming back ,it tends to break due to stress and heat, I was TIRED_ of feeling like I wasn’t meant to be in the University as I was wasting my parent’s money, I was TIRED of doubting what I could do.                        My strength to carry on with this change came as a super surprise to me, but the next day had me going to school with no make up on. From that day going on I focused on my strengths and not my weaknesses, my abilities ,not inabilities, my soul not on the spots on my face.  I began reading my Bible and inspiring books more.                                                            I was impressed with a particular artist,  Alessia Cara, her songs spoke more to me,especially one of her best selling,  Scars To Your Beautiful. I began to see drastic changes in me, I learnt and taught myself to be happy, proud of ME, my looks and my existence. 

     Today is a day looked forward to by everyone to show love, it’s a day when relationships are rekindled, marriage vows renewed, and well some might decide to spend that day with the physically challenged amongst them, and for others, this is a day they feel reminded that they are are not like others and are not capable of sharing this special day with anyone because they are Ugly looking, or lack one thing or the other physically that would have made them experience love from other people. 

 I tell you most solemnly,if you are feeling that way today, then take this day to appreciate the amazing person that you are.  And besides you don’t need a certain day to be set aside to express love,  it should be done everyday,  ever heard the saying ‘spread love as you go’. You don’t go once in a blue moon ,you go everyday.  Realize that you are God’s own creation, not a mistake. 

Tell yourself some positive ,life changing words today and I will advise you check out the song, scars to you beautiful ,listen to this lyrics, reflect,while you eat an ice-cream and believe me, you would see more reasons to believe you are Beauty Full. If  it’s been poured into a measuring cup to know how beautiful you are, then you should know that the cup will be filled to the brim, and even overflow.


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