About nyinyeh

Hello, so I decided to try my hands on blogging, one of the biggest decisions I have taken so far. I see the importance of speaking and sharing, your stories and experiences might seem unimportant to you but to someone else you just saved a life. This blog came as a result of this thought and I wondered how people could relate, their issues and how they overcame it or wish to overcome that situation, what better way than blogging. Say something on this platform no matter how small it seems. I will gladly appreciate it. I am Anyadiegwu Onyinyechi

Apologies

Been away for so long that I’m scared I will be judged below average. Its is pretty hard juggling school and trying your hands on writing down what I want to share. Been three weeks I returned and seriously, it hasn’t been funny.

Returning back to school was mandatory, since I wasn’t rusticated or withdrawn, but to start with, the journey of over 13 hours by road was pretty annoying, coupled with the fact that I attended school the next day and was given a mandatory assignment. I never knew the way to go about it, up until I made a mental note of some things I am to keep in mind, and got some tips from the net. Might sound kind of unprofessional but I needed some kind of motivation. To be candid, blogging was to be kept away till I’m  done with school,but  I’m not one to derive pleasure in quitting, nor feel the need to think about it.

Back to the top,you might wonder why I apologized, (nothing much) I felt I had done something wrong,  so I just had to do what was required of me.

What do you do when after doing what’s expected of you(apologizing) but it’s not accepted even by the ones closest to you. Apologizing is not about you being weak, or stupid, to me I’m not to be considered weak if I apologize, but honestly you sure have lot of things to do with your time and energy rather than allow someone give you a run for your inner energy, channeling it into becoming the best you have ever dreamt to be would be the best thing ever. ( I currently have a runny nose, blame it on the cascade of tears falling as I type). It’s okay not be strong at all times but it’s not to remain like that for sooooo long.

P.S Few thoughts I thought to share. I’m sure going to create time aside from school activities to write and learn as I do so.

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  Typical Nights in Lagos

    I’m currently at a point in my life where I can only wish to live my life and try to be at peace with my God, conscience, and my neighbors. I try to avoid issues, though they seem find me most atimes. Last night’s event was one that I just couldn’t avoid, but I am totally unhappy that I didn’t get to address it properly. 

    Somewhere in Surulere,in Lagos in Nigeria,  nights are characterized by ‘the discorded honking  of cars ,nights of women rushing home to prepare the night meal for their children and husbands who come home with expectations of it, nights of loud music blaring from speakers in restaurants beckoning on hungry stomachs to patronize them, nights of the street light to grace you with their shine,  to give you the assurance that they are with you as you go, lest you dash your feet against worst things than stones,  while for some, nights in Lagos are opportunities to shoot their shot.  Coming back from work yesterday night, all I could think of was go home, rest, perhaps eat and then sleep. Too bad for me,  someone somewhere  had other plans and to him I was his target for the night.  

       Ever encountered a guy, neat, body fragrance on point, you would think him to be responsible in thinking and actions,all of these you notice at first sight, only for you to realize you gave him far more credit than he needed?                                          So here is the gist,  This particular guy Mr .S.  (not his actual name but for the purpose of this post)  was calling me with the usual “Hi can I talk to you for a second’ fine girl,  hello! Heysss” ( Ladies ,we can all relate)  to all of which  I ignored,          ( don’t get me wrong, it’s necessary to Form and do guy)   he managed to catch up with me and , believe me I was impressed. Judging from his looks, appearance, indeed I was.  After exchanging pleasantries and all,  Guy S volunteered to walk me home,to which I politely  declined. So I searched for a place close-by and open and insisted that he said anything he wanted to say there and then.  His accent is  one to die for, his baritone nko,  I was blown away.  We got kind of personal ,because I felt being his friend won’t hurt a fly. When I knew that his thinking wasn’t  as cool and perfect as his looks, was when I told him I was a student in one of the Nigerian University’s studying linguistics and communication studies, but engage in a sales job with my uncle during holidays to keep the body and soul together , I  was happy with myself and felt he would feel the same way that I was making good use of my holidays, only for Guy .S. to quickly conclude that my parents are poor and that is why I have to work.  HEY ! Can’t I do something worthwhile with my time even if my father is as rich as Bill Gates, For my mind this was the only thing he would say wrong for the night,  For where, I received another shocker when Mr .S. told me that well at the end of the day.                            “ all the certificate I must have acquired  will be useless, as I will dedicate my entire time to cooking and taking care of my husband and children and make the kitchen my permanent  duty post” .  The problem here isn’t in the kitchen as my duty post but as my Permanent duty post . 

Hellllo!  In this age who will be so daft as to say a thing like that, a banker for that matter? (I reserve my comment) . I felt like replying but a rare gentle spirit from nowhere restricted me. Chai! So that is how myopic his mind is( permit me to refer to his brain and not his eyes) . My dear people I didn’t wait to hear any of his self acclaimed story about his house ,car, or answer any of his questions  again. I just turned,faced the direction leading to my house,took a step forward and another one till I was sure I was walking ,and dared  him to call me back.  When he didn’t, I guessed his brain already alerted him that he said something wrong.        Respect my husband? Yes, Cook and take care of the children as an African woman, I would. But making the kitchen my permanent post won’t happen, because I see myself far above that level.  Now don’t get me wrong, some women might decide to be a stay at home mum or wife, for peace to reign or for other reasons, but if Mrs A does it and it works for her don’t expect it to work for Mrs B. 

My question is, what is wrong with being a working class lady, wife or mother?  I’m confused because I feel women shouldn’t be relegated to the kitchen, there’s so much more for us outside. Your comments to answering this question will go a long way. 

  How I wish to see that guy, only God knows how my reply to him will sound.  

Beauty full

     I mistook likes, and follows on social media as the rate of our beauty. I got envious when I saw how someone got up to a thousand likes, I thought ‘ you will never get there, not even up to 200 likes, you don’t have a pointed nose, and you can’t take pictures without make up as you have to dark spots to conceal, you are not curvy enough ( popularly known as figure 8), you are not as popular as your peers,  and majorly because all these characteristics which you lack, are prerequisites to be termed as.          *Beautiful *.  

     A quick one here,i began to experience pimples outbreak on my face since my junior secondary school days, I felt picking and popping them were the only option  to get them over with, Well, too bad for me, they eventually turned to spots which were very embarrassing. I had no freaking idea on what to do, I couldn’t go out with my head held up high. When I see people discussing, I would  think they were. conversing on how ugly I looked.

     I believed them, I believed me for almost seven years.  Yes!  7 whole long years of being miserable and doubting If truly I was beautiful as I was always told when growing up. 

Those seven years turned out to be the longest. I always woke up, grateful to God for the life, but the joy of waking up suddenly changes to that of unhappiness when i remember that I have to go out, perhaps to school, church, and I kept away from attending social events, for reason of my being Ugly.  

     That was my mindset,my beliefs . Now if any mindset,makes you believe you are different in a negative type of way, or makes you feel you don’t meet Society’s standard of “Beautiful “,then it’s evil.                    That thought and mindset changed in  many ways than one, socially, mentally, spiritually as well.  I no longer believed what the Bible said about ” created in his image, form and likeness” . concentrating in school seemed a herculean task for my brain.  Thank God I graduated,  I moved from a lower level to a higher one,”  you would think my thinking graduated as well, but you are wrong if you thought so” . 

     Senior school didn’t get any different from the fact that I was in a different class, a whole new level. A formation stage, to prepare me for life ahead, my thinking remained the same. I learned about concealers and foundations, during this time and believe me when I say I was glad for the discovery, I felt that was light I needed to see at the end of the tunnel.  Then you would have imagined, I was happy fulfilling my dreams as a library prefect, but there was more I could do, I could feel it,  but it kept on saying to me” your face won’t allow you,  you don’t have it, so it’s best you stay in your lane”. I sought consolations in foundation bottles and concealer palette, but was still not happy.   Could I survive it? My friends turned dermatologist all for my sake and recommended what they felt will help me.  

    The turning point for me was when I got admitted to a university far from home,  I knew I had to face a new set of demons.  I had to make new friends all over.  Who wants to be friends with a girl with acne, blackheads,pimples anyway?     I continued wearing makeup to school, to conceal and cover my blemishes.  I eventually got TIRED. TIRED of wearing a white shirt to school and coming back with it looking brown from foundations, TIRED of going to school with my face dolled up and coming back ,it tends to break due to stress and heat, I was TIRED_ of feeling like I wasn’t meant to be in the University as I was wasting my parent’s money, I was TIRED of doubting what I could do.                        My strength to carry on with this change came as a super surprise to me, but the next day had me going to school with no make up on. From that day going on I focused on my strengths and not my weaknesses, my abilities ,not inabilities, my soul not on the spots on my face.  I began reading my Bible and inspiring books more.                                                            I was impressed with a particular artist,  Alessia Cara, her songs spoke more to me,especially one of her best selling,  Scars To Your Beautiful. I began to see drastic changes in me, I learnt and taught myself to be happy, proud of ME, my looks and my existence. 

     Today is a day looked forward to by everyone to show love, it’s a day when relationships are rekindled, marriage vows renewed, and well some might decide to spend that day with the physically challenged amongst them, and for others, this is a day they feel reminded that they are are not like others and are not capable of sharing this special day with anyone because they are Ugly looking, or lack one thing or the other physically that would have made them experience love from other people. 

 I tell you most solemnly,if you are feeling that way today, then take this day to appreciate the amazing person that you are.  And besides you don’t need a certain day to be set aside to express love,  it should be done everyday,  ever heard the saying ‘spread love as you go’. You don’t go once in a blue moon ,you go everyday.  Realize that you are God’s own creation, not a mistake. 

Tell yourself some positive ,life changing words today and I will advise you check out the song, scars to you beautiful ,listen to this lyrics, reflect,while you eat an ice-cream and believe me, you would see more reasons to believe you are Beauty Full. If  it’s been poured into a measuring cup to know how beautiful you are, then you should know that the cup will be filled to the brim, and even overflow.


Baby Steps

 

   I am Anyadiegwu Onyinyechi of (tell a tale with nyinyeh). So not to bore you, this is like a short introduction of myself, ( I hope to make it short though)  and why I decided to blog.

To listen,share and advice has been a total definition of me,  I am not perfect, no one is, but at least an effort can be made towards correcting a part of our lives. Tellatale with nyinyeh, came with the need for me to share experiences, and derive strength from the fact that you aren’t alone in the struggle, and you get opinions on how to go about a certain issue bothering you. I won’t judge and I don’t expect anyone to, it’s going to be me sharing my thoughts, experiences on issues and I will be glad to hear yours.

Beginning an amazing journey with Baby steps 

Hi there! A new blogger around here? Yeah! that’s me.
I am Anyadiegwu Onyinyechi of (tell a tale with nyinyeh). So not to bore you, this is like a short introduction of myself, ( I hope to make it short though) and the reason why I decided to blog.

To listen,share and advice has been a total definition of me, I am not perfect, no one is, but at least an effort can be made towards correcting a part of our lives. Tellatale with nyinyeh, came with the need for me to share my experiences,listen to others , and for us to derive strength from the fact that we aren’t alone in the struggle, and you get opinions on how to go about a certain issue bothering you. I won’t judge and I don’t expect anyone to, it’s going to be me sharing my thoughts, experiences on issues and I will be glad to hear yours.
Quite young, but I am ever willing to learn and I’m open to take corrections.This platform is open to everyone who isn’t judgemental and willing to tell their stories as a lesson to younger ones or those yet to go through that phase.
Topics that will be discussed is as endless as….. ( don’t know what to replace it with 🤔 just so you know) say something educative, interesting,funny,spiritual and so on. You might have a personal problem, family crisis, relationship issues, don’t worry because I got you.
I am so happy to begin this amazing journey with YOU. Want to be friends with me ,sure!
marielopezanyadiegwu626@gmail.com
Welcome on board to my Tellatale boat, let’s sail round some experiences and life changing stories shall we?